Ok, I've decided to quit Xanga, at least this account. I'll just sort of... die. I get bored of everything eventually. This didn't take long. I'll just post here and there. Other than that...

So anyways, I'm getting very annoyed at Savvy. And Meg's sick. Kae is... yeah. So I still have Liz, Mary, Suzie, Jo, Nicole, Lizzy, Julia, Jenny, Hannah B., Hannah G., Chantel, Katie B., and various other peeps.

That last entry was a perfect example of when I break down, and all my reasoning goes to waste. It happens. I don't particularly enjoy it. Afterwards I regret many of the things I said. Por ejemple, Megan isn't perfect, my life does NOT suck, and of course when you're with your friends everything's natural... nothing's... uh, unnatural.

So anyways, Premium's just run out (Yay! go HTML!) and so this is a very plain entry, like the last one. Yeah.

I'm really upset right now... my brother scratched one of my favorite cds... he apparently doesn't like it...

Currently Playing American Idiot By Green Day see related

Why does my life suck? I have no idea. But it definitly does. Meg's coming over and I'm freaking because she's nearly perfect, whereas my house is covered with ants, my room is tiny, my parents are weird, my dad curses and yells as does my brother, who will also bug us. Then my sister... yikes, she'll be getting on my nerves so badly, like she's doing right now. And she'll want to watch movies with us, and bug me, and if I yell ather and kick her out... well that'll probably freak out Megan too. And if Meg eats at my house, she'll probably be shocked 'cause we eat at like 8:30. Actually, it's 8:45 now and we haven't eaten. The bathrooms and my room and just about everything else is filthy and messy. My mom will tell me to do the dishes, practice clarinet, talk to me... and Katie will probably want to come over.

I know this sounds strange, but I really don't like her anymore. My other friends are happy and stuff, except for Emily who's kind of depressingish but nice to know when you have a ton of self pity like me and her both do. We go and cry on eachother's shoulders. Then there's Savvy... Savvy is perfection... except for the fact that she can't sympathize at all with imperfection. Meg... that's another problem. She'd be way too nice to SAY anything but I know she'd be freaked. Well maybe not. And I'm scared she'll be bored stiff. But I know Meg's live isn't perfect. Nobody's is. I just feel like crap right now. Katie, though, is almost always negative. And I feel really guilty all the time about that.

This is why I want to go to boarding school... no more parents, new friends, new choices. Gone are the ants and the siblings. Everyone's dorm is the same. Sure, I'll still be unpopular, but that's not really my goal in life, to become popular. I also hate that I told everyone who I like. Whenever I do that, I no longer like the bub. Which, I'm sure, is fine with him. And right now, i'm desperately hoping no one I know will read this...

See, I have all these unreasonable 'fears'... It's good she's not coming on a sleepover.

[see now I wish I HADN'T said all that. I was feeling depressed.]

Currently Playing From the Far Future By Terrence Dixon see related

I can't stand this anymore... I have a huge crush on someone at school... It kills me. It's a random one, one of the pointless kind that take you by surprise and doesn't make any since...

So anyways, I have a few quotes on the page Crush Quotes. Check it out.

Currently Reading The Devil's Arithmetic By Jane Yolen see related

See, like da_gitt said, it's sort of weird to tell everyone that sort of thing online. But it's cause no one cares as long as they don't know me. At school, I would only tell my closest friends...

Anyways, I am currently quite busy. But hey, it's a friday. Next week is TV turnoff week ( :( ), which is something at my younger sibling's elementary school, but I have to participate too. And I'm not allowed on on Sundays. So I may not be able to post at all for a while.

My brother is so bad... he skipped school today, forging my mom's signature to make a note... he went to see a friend from RI in town... Sometimes I hate my brother.

Currently Playing Two Lefts Don't Make a Right.. But Three Do By Relient K Jefferson Aeroplane see related